My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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