As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
