the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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