I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
