i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
