direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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