Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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