i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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