the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
