He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
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