Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize