it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
home. puking in laundry basket.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
