Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm at about main and main street
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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