I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
