It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
