Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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