he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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