Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
