Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
