i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize