were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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