Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
