He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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