I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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