it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
