I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
