i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
