Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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