shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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