just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
