i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
