Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
