I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
