Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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