actually, I'm a sock model
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
