when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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