Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
