yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
