I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
