I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
