she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
