Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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