So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
