Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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