Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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