i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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