I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
