When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just had sex on a roof
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
