Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
