ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
