Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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