While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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