ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
