bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
