she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
