Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
