Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
