that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
