I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
