I am puke
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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