the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize