grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
