so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
