3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
