I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
