As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
