so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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