WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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