how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
