No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
