Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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