I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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