I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
