bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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