I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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