yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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