ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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