So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
