He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
