Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
